A farewell and an unexpected greeting

Jai groaned as the envelope landed on her lower back, the sheet wasn’t covering much more than her legs as she lay dozing across Baen’s chest. She was a little surprised that they had ended up here like this, pleasantly though. Baen hadn’t seemed all that hurried about moving them along to the next level but in the space of an hour he’d brought up loving her and made love to her. Well okay so maybe it was more than an hour.

Jai raised her head off his chest and looked at the time. “Dammit” She growled rolling over, the letter slipping from her back and gently floating down to the floor forgotten already.

“What is it princess?” Baen’s voice was a heavy sated, sleepy sound.

“I should have been gone three hours ago.” She leaned over and kissed Baen again with a smile. “Someone distracted me.”

“I’m not the one who was offering me free parking.” Baen grinned, his arm looping around her drawing her in for another kiss. Jai blushed and giggled knowing she should be extracting herself from his embrace but finding herself quite happy to be where she was.

“I said only if you landed on me.” Baen grinned in that adorably cute way of his and pushed her back down bringing his weight down onto her again. She groaned as his lips gently moved down her neck.

“I do believe it’s happened again my princess.”

“I’m never getting out of this bed if you keep that up prince.”

“As you wish.” His lips started to trail lower and it took a strength she didn’t think she had for Jai to port out from under him into the shower, she could hear him groan in the bedroom. She emerged in one of her best gowns, she couldn’t go to the Summer Court wearing just anything.

“Come back to me.” Baen whispered as he pulled her against him for a final goodbye kiss.

“I will.” Jai replied with a smile. Two kisses later she vanished from his arms without even looking at the letter. She ported into the Lady Lily’s room and immediately felt her wrists clamped in iron. “What the hell?”

Jai spun around and found herself looking into dark eyes, like the depths of a cave drawing her in. It had been many decades since she had even been in the presence of a dark Fae and she’d never been this close to one. It was the last thing she expected to be confronted by in the royal apartments of the Summer Court.

“Summer has fallen.” The dark Fae hissed. “So nice of you to come and ignore the warning. You as hostage will help strengthen our position with your realm.” A series of curses flooded Jai’s mind, many spilling from her lips as she thrashed about. But the manacles were not just iron but magically enhanced too and her power and energy were being rapidly drained. She had no idea what warning he was talking about.

“Take me to the Queen.”

Filed pointed teeth gleamed at her. “With pleasure.”

 

A letter and a request

Jai unfolded the letter smoothing it out with her hands. She recognised the beautiful handwriting instantly though she had not seen it for upwards of sixty years. Something constricted inside her given that bad feeling she had, had since Baen had mentioned the courts of Summer and Winter. Putting the feeling aside for a moment she focused back on the letter and read.

Dearest Jaidee

It has been too long since you journeyed to visit with us in the Summer Court and I have missed you. I must beg your indulgence and confidence and ask you to visit with me here in haste. Rumour grows that an attack is coming to our kingdom and I am fearful. Mother is too quiet, she has not been the same since Aurora was lost to her. Please Jaidee I implore you to make haste and come to my side, I know your guidance can help ease the heavy burden I feel in my heart.

Blessings always

Lily

 

Jai was chewing her lip pretty hard by the time she finished reading and her heart beat had started to beat out a samba. She couldn’t refuse the summons, she was bound as a Bard to go, let alone the bonds of friendship. But what on earth was she meant to do. Jai no longer had the pull or position in the lands of her birth. What on earth was she meant to do. Well first she could start by telling Baen that she had to leave, where had he gotten to while she was reading.

 

After memory returns

I slipped out of bed with Baen and went and sat outside. The mask I’ve been wearing slipping away. I’ve got this knot inside me, I still don’t know how I went crazy and that scares me. Maybe it was Kelsen, I don’t know. I wish I’d been the one here when he came and knew what had happened but in my reality Kelsen never came. And there’s something else. Baen made a joke in passing about the courts of Mab and Titania and ever since it’s been playing in my mind. It’s been a long time since I journeyed to those courts of Fae and in all honesty my last trip was not pleasant. Mab and I had, shall we say, a disagreement. I have no idea if she is over it. Mab knows how to hold a grudge.

I’ve been trying to put it all aside. It’s been easy with these dreams I’ve been having. Dreams I’ve been sharing with Baen. It’s hard to know what to make of this soul touch as he called it. I know I’m beginning to develop feelings for him. I don’t let just anyone kiss me, what? I don’t. The list of men who have locked lips with me isn’t as long as some might imagine, not by a long shot. But Baen is different, I’ve slept in his bed three or is it four nights now and while we have kissed a couple of times and I’ve slept in his arms it hasn’t gone any further. I’m not used to that. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, not at all. I quite like it. And I like the way he calls me princess. Okay he’s not the first to call me that, Huck did too, so did Will. But I like it when Baen calls me that, and I love that he woke me with a kiss. Yes the fairy tale addiction is strong in me but hello, fairy here. I’m already living the fantasy of you mortals.

All my memories are still very fresh in my mind. It’s like everything happened yesterday and at times that can be a little overwhelming. I feel like I don’t have the same closure that time brings to memory, especially with certain memories. Baen bought up things he regrets doing because of being influenced by his work and I nearly cried thinking about that poor farm girl I butchered for Morpheus. Gods the memory is so fresh and clear. I can only hope it all fades again. I can still feel every heartbreak so clearly right now and it’s killing me just a little bit. My eyes fill with tears when I think about Bryn, just like they used to nearly a century ago. And Kelsen is so fresh in my mind and knowing he came back, he came for me…but where is he now? It’s all very confusing. It’s no wonder my dreams are all over the place.

The dreams, it’s amazing. I’ve never dreamed with anyone else before, not like this and even though the dreams are nonsense in so many ways I’m still happy to be sleeping. When I’m sleeping my brain isn’t there and involved. It’s easier to forget the churning inside of me. But I’m sure it will pass, healing is never a wham bam fix for anything, it takes time. I’ll be okay. I hope.

 

Return to self

Jai sat outside Baen’s home staring up at the sky. She was mentally and physically exhausted but she couldn’t sleep. She felt a little embarrassed at how she had been with Baen. It showed a strength of character that he hadn’t taken advantage of her but she was still blushing every time she thought about how forward she’d been. She was feeling an overload of emotions, he’d been right about that, 137 years worth of memory, emotion and everything in between. It was kind of hard to take in all at once.

She still didn’t know what had happened. She remembered being at home, her home, well her new reality home, that still hadn’t really sunk in. For the most part everything here was the same. But she’d been at home, she’d had breakfast after Rose had gone back through the portal. And then she’d been in the forest and it had seemed as if she’d been there all her life. She started giggling remembering her time at the forest. Special didn’t even begin to cover it. No wonder everyone had looked at her strangely. Oh my god, had she really dressed ferrets up to put on plays. Jai set her head in her hands and simply lost it to the giggles. The laughter was therapeutic, a release of a lot of other emotions through the safety net of laughter.

When she was finished she felt better but still not ready for sleep. So she ported herself home. Another shower, this one a proper one and then dressing in her own clothes. She needed the comfort of the familiar and dressed in her favourite skirt, a long flowing, what did the woman call it, gypsy style skirt. A complimentary top followed that sat off her shoulders. She looked in the mirror enjoying the familiarity of it. Music was turned on and skirt in fingers she began to dance around flicking her skirt to the beat of the music. She had to stop after barely half a song, she didn’t have the energy.

She moved instead to the desk and unlocked the hidden draw pulling out her journal. Kelsen? Kelsen had been here? In her own reality Kelsen had not visited but there were still some differences between the two and this was one of them. Jai put the book back filing that away to think on some more. Surely Kelsen couldn’t have had anything to do with what happened to her. If he was trying to kill her she’d be dead and he would have no reason that she could see to make her go all kinds of crazy.

Jai rested back in the chair and managed to get a couple of hours sleep, somehow. She woke a little stiff with the sunlight pouring in a warm caress of her skin. “Baen.” She didn’t want him to get worried that she’d reverted to crazy ways in the night or accidentally ported herself half way to China. Working her powers in this reality was different and she was going to have to learn to control them better it seemed but she wasn’t quite so accident prone now, though the cold carnage would have happened regardless. Last time she’d had a cold that bad she’d exploded half the dance studio with a single sneeze. Jai went out into the garden and picked some spring flowers, she ported to a local market and purchased some lovely smelling pastries and then went back to Baen’s finding him still asleep. She smiled fondly at him. Even if nothing happened with them in that was she was still glad that the wind had sent him to her. She didn’t care what he said it was because of him she was restored again, and this simple breakfast would be the first of many little acts to show her gratitude. With that in mind she set the food up on the bench and went about squeezing some juice waiting for him to wake up.

 

Crazy with a sniffle

I’m worried about my ferrets and my peeeg. Why did I agree to come with this strange man? Something told me to trust him, he seemed to know things about me, which seemed good because I don’t really know much about me. I thought I had been in that forest forever but the more I thought about it, the harder I thought about it the more I realised I don’t really remember much at all. Somehow I was just there and it felt right to be there, in the forest with nature and my little baby animals. I’m scared the squirrels are going to be terrorising my poor Felicity. I never did get them to put on their wizard of oz play for the skunks. They looked so adorable in their little outfits.

 

 

 

I still don’t understand who this Baen is? He said the wind sent him to me, it was upset about me calling it. I didn’t mean to upset it. Maybe that’s why it was angry and blew me into the stream. I think I have a sniffle now. I haven’t told Baen yet, I’m not sure where he is, but everytime I sneeze something strange happens. I should maybe tell him, he might notice all the exploded berries on his ceiling. Have you ever seen berries explode? It’s messy I can tell you that. And I’m not sure where his other shoe disappeared to either. I hope he wasn’t fond of it. Maybe I should try and make the other one vanish too. Or is that rude? I’m not sure. Maybe it is I don’t really know how to behave in someone’s home. I don’t know if I’ve ever been in one.

This not knowing things didn’t bug me but then people started telling me they knew me, or knew things about me and it just confuses me. And now that I can do these strange things and I don’t know that I’m doing them and I’m upsetting the wind and who knows what or who else. That’s why I’m here I guess. This strange man says he can help me, says he knows what is wrong with me and even who I am. But am I more trouble than I’m worth. I’ve already given his house an impromptu painting and lost his shoe. What if next I do something worse, something terrible? Maybe I’d be better in the forest but then what if I hurt the ferrets…or peeeg?

I’m confused. But that isn’t anything new now is it?

 

Felicity Ferret

Honestly I put so much hard work into her dress and she’s off mucking about with Squirrel Nutkin. Breaks my heart it does. Now where is my pig? Peeeeeeg peeeeg mama wants a cuddle

Kelsen Part 5 – It ends in change

Jai woke to a strange noise. She opened her eyes expecting to see Kelsen again but instead her forehead scrunched up in confusion as the air in the centre of the room went all wibbly wobbly and started to shimmer. Her eyes widened as a familiar face walked from the portal.

“Jas…How did you…” Jai paused, something was not right about this woman. “You’re not Jasmine are you?”

“No, well not exactly.” The new arrival spoke in a strong British accent not dissimilar to Jas’s but again there was something just not right about it.

“She would be Rose and I would be…”

“The Doctor.” Jai blinked rapidly wondering if she was in a dream, first Kelsen and now the Doctor. The man who appeared behind the Jas look alike named Rose was familiar, Jai didn’t need powers to recognise the Time Lord she had known long ago. But again something was off with him as well. “You are the Doctor aren’t you?”

“Well in a roundabout not to be specific about it way. Yes I am sort of the Doctor.” He grinned that cheeky grin of his and winked. “And I’m back oh yes.”

Rose rolled her eyes  and came to sit beside Jai on the couch. She looked like Jas but the biggest difference was the eyes. The universe had once lingered in these eyes that now turned on Jai, this was the woman who had held the heart of the Tardis inside her and had lived, but forever changed by it.

“There is trouble coming Jai and you must leave this world.”

“But…what? Are you crazy?” Jai took less than a heartbeat to digest and react to Rose’s words. Leave? How could she leave? She was five months pregnant and married. She couldn’t go on adventures all over the universe in her condition. “I’m kind of pregnant here and if my time with you,” She looked up at the Doctor. “If my time with you taught me anything it’s that your adventures require a lot of running.”

“Seriously, there is a lot of running.” Rose smiled in consipiracy as the Doctor huffed by way of reply. “You aren’t needed to go adventuring, and your children, the twins, they are the reason you must go. They’ve been born to the wrong reality.”

Jai listened in stunned silence as Rose, with witty interjections from the Doctor, explained. All things are played out, each choice and decision is played out. This reality was not the one that was meant for Jai and Myles to get married and have twins right now. Knaxor in an attempt to gain control of faery sent the twins’ souls to the wrong reality so they would not be born in his and grow up to stop him.

“The thing is once you start messing with fixed points in history the walls of reality begin to crumble. Knaxor must be stopped in his own reality and Faery must not fall. These souls must be born into this time or all realities will collapse. I’m sorry but there can be no other way but to take you back to our reality. I am truly sorry.” The Doctor was different Jai decided. There was a different degree of compassion in his voice and far less of the barking orders rudely that he was prone to.

Jai tried to take it all in, her mind was firing in quick succession and a few questions made it beyond her lips. “What about Myles? Do I stay there? What about the other me? Can I see her? What is my life there?” Other questions remained unspoken, had Kelsen really been there? If Myles wasn’t there would she be alone again with the babies? How did her children stop a man who could move souls between realities? Rose patted her hand.

“Think of it as an exchange program. You you for Her you. You’ll meet in passing but do not touch her.” Rose’s eyes went unfocused as her thoughts turned inward playing out a memory of when she broke that rule. “Above all else you must not touch her, trust me.”

“Myles will be waiting there for you. In that reality he never went away and will be at your side.” The Doctor spoke as if he knew what was ailing her.

“Yes, yes I’ll do it.” That alone convinced Jai, after earlier with Kelsen, she couldn’t risk it. She and Myles would be together and happy and she would be lonely no more.

“Good answer.” The Doctor reached into the portal and drew out a hand followed by an arm followed by, well, the rest of Jai.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Jai smiled at herself. “Well this is awkward.” She had a desire to hug herself but refrained given Rose’s warning. She stood instead and looked at the very non-pregnant version of herself. It was like looking in a mirror but somehow deeper. The Doctor moved forward and linked his arm with Jai’s. First Jai…pregnant Jai. “You get her settled.” He said to Rose and then looked back to the woman on his arm. “Bet you never thought you’d work out how to be beside yourself. Pity Joy couldn’t make it.” He squeezed her hand and lead her through the portal and into her new reality.

It didn’t take Rose long to get Jai set up. After all it was the same as what she had left with just a few minor differences. Rose left and the portal closed behind her. It was nearing lunchtime now and Jai was surprisingly hungry. She fixed herself a plate of fruit salad and poured a large drink of juice and went and sat outside in the sunshine.

When Kelsen arrived that night it took him hours to find Jai. She wasn’t at the house as he had expected. Panic gripped him when he found her. She was deep in the woods, her belly not swollen at all and her mind was gone. He didn’t understand, the potion was meant to just wipe a few months of memory not wipe her mind completely and he did not understand at all how the children inside her could be gone as if they were never there. There was no sign of a miscarriage or anything; her pregnant belly was simply gone. Perhaps her body had reverted with the potion? Kelsen didn’t know but he knew he had to find out. He would have to brave going to the Fae realm once more to talk to the Fae who had given him the potion. They would give him answers and tell him how to right this mistake or they would die. He was torn though, he didn’t want to leave her hair alone but as he watched her he knew that she would be fine. Some built in memory was allowing her to set up home in the woods; some instinct was guiding her still. She would be safe until he returned and while she was there none other could steal her away, she wouldn’t know them anyway. With a growl Kelsen vanished between the veils of the worlds.

Jai didn’t even notice her was there let alone that he was gone. She simply went about making her little hut and talking to her little ferret friends.

Kelsen Part 4 – Confession and Promise

“Kelsen you can’t be here. Myles is…”

“Myles isn’t here Jaidee. He left you alone, pregnant and alone.” His words were brutal but that didn’t change the truth in them as they hit Jai.

“It’s work.” She exhaled a heavy sigh; she knew how lame that sounded. Kelsen knelt at her side and took her hand. She let him.

“It took the threat of your death to force me to go from your side and I know now sweetheart that I should never have left you.” Kelsen moved with a supernatural speed and stole a deep kiss from her lips. “Nothing would have taken me from you had you been wearing my ring or carrying my child.”

“Children.” Jai corrected him automatically, her other hand, the one he was not holding, moved to her lips touching them gently as his kiss lingered. Just him being there made her heart race a little faster and memories rose of three decades sprinkled with intense and passionate encounters and then at the end of them realising it was more than desire that they loved each other, loved so strong that they parted to keep the other safe.

“I should never have given you up Jaidee and this time I will not. I love you Jaidee, somehow this heartless bastard found a heart with love in it and it’s for you, only you. I’ve been miserable without you, sick with it with you gone from me.”

“Kelsen stop.” Jai’s voice was shaking. He was breaking her heart with his words. She’d tried for over a year to forget him and move on and she had with Myles and with him gone and now Kelsen declaring his unshakeable love her heart was tearing again. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“Do you want me to go?” Kelsen took her chin between his fingers and tilted her head to look at him. “Look me in the eyes and banish me from you and I’ll go forever.” She couldn’t. Her eyes dropped and lingered on a spot on the carpet.

“I love you and I know you still love me.”

“I’ll always love you Kelsen.” Jai admitted the words in a quiet whisper her eyes still on the floor. “But you left and Myles made me his bride and I’m pregnant.”

“That doesn’t mean anything Jaidee because I am here with you now. I love you and I’ll love our children too. He left you alone when he should have been worshipping you as your belly swelled with this gift and showing that love daily. Forget him Jaidee. Forget him and be with me. I love you.” He kissed her again and the autopilot of her body took control for a few moments as he deepened the kiss, her fingers trailed the familiar contours of the muscles of his arms. Then she pulled back and pushed him away.

“Kelsen…I…” She trailed off speech failing her. It was too much to take in, she was on overload. She was flustered, confused, in shock…just in overload, a multitude of emotions and reactions all jostling for prime position and attention. Kelsen ran a finger over her lips.

“Hush sweetheart. I pushed too hard too fast which wasn’t fair on you.” He stole another quick kiss and moved to the door. “I shall return for you tomorrow night at sunset sweetheart. I love you Jaidee.” And then he was gone leaving Jai staring out into the darkness after him beyond confused.

Kelsen didn’t go far, into the woods far enough that she could not see him in the darkness but with his keen vampire eyes he could still watch her and it broke him watching her cry like that.

“You will be mine again Jaidee, our love is too strong. Tomorrow you will forget Myles, you will forget ever knowing anyone’s love but mine and we can be together.” He remained there watching her until she fell into an exhausted sleep still laying on the couch where he had left her. He moved inside then and drew a blanket over her, he kissed her forehead, a fang scratching the skin slightly, she was still just as intoxicating being this close. He contemplated feeding from her as she slept but he could wait until tomorrow, until she was his again and they could both enjoy the sensation. He took a vial out of his pocket and moved into the kitchen opening the fridge to find the fresh squeezed juice. Some habits never changed and Jai still had her morning glass of juice. He let nine droplets fall into the juice from the vial before closing the lid and returning it to his pocket. He swirled the juice around and placed it back as it had been and then he was gone from the house before the sun could rise and find him there.

 

Kelsen Part 3 – The Return

Jai was restless. The voice mail Myles had left had just made her more on edge with his absence. She knew it made sense and all, and after the Gerard incident and the fights before it she wasn’t wanting to push it. But she hated being alone watching her belly swell seemingly day by day. At 22 weeks she was more than showing now. She’d held off telling people but it was beach ball on Jai’s slight dancer body. In some ways it seemed like so much longer that she had been pregnant. She was just glad that she had not been stricken with terrible morning sickness, though the smell of cooking lamb still set her stomach off. There was just something, she couldn’t stand the smell or the taste anymore.

She made her way to the old oak desk in her private room. She unlocked the desk drawer and took out her notebook. She had been writing a lot of memories lately. Especially ones of Kelsen. Her mind turned often to her ex lover at the moment. She wasn’t sure why. Perhaps it was to do with the strange presence she was feeling, like she was being watched. Somehow it made her think of Kelsen. If she had her powers she could know for sure but she didn’t. She had shared herself with Kelsen in ways she hadn’t with any other. He had been the first she had been blood bonded to. Before Sophie Ann even. He had been able to resist the intoxication of her scent even as a new born because he had been Fae before he was turned and it had meant even once turned he could stay close to her. Protect her.

Tears swelled in her eyes as she recalled the night they had said goodbye. The council had threatened to put her to death if she continued to harbour Kelsen. It wasn’t a threat they were likely to carry out, not as long as Lothair was on the council but it had the desired effect that Kelsen was removing himself permanently from her life. He could not bring her to any harm. They had become closer in the time since he had been turned than they had in the previous thirty years they had been involved. She had cried when he had left. She hadn’t seen his tears as they stained his shirt red for he had already gone and she had not seen him since.

She thought about him from time to time, often when she was running through a training session. Kelsen had been the one who had taught her to fight. It had been how they had first met. She had never talked to Myles about Kelsen really. Sure he knew that they had been involved and he had become a vampire. But he didn’t know a lot more than that because he didn’t want to. He found it hard to talk to her about her about anyone who had been intimate with her physically and emotionally because it drove him to jealousy. Much the same way it did for her. She hated everyone woman who had ever even had a thought about Myles like that, and any woman that thought about him now she wanted to claw the eyes out of. That was a constant thorn with him being away that maybe he was with another woman every night and that was why he didn’t want her with him, the babies and recovering from Gerard was just an excuse.

Jai froze as she heard something outside. Every night this week she could have sworn she heard something outside. Felt like someone was watching her but every time she went out there was nothing to find. Except a ferret, an Opossum and a one night what appeared to be a pig in the edges of the wood. Her heart hammered in her chest every time she went out clutching dagger in one hand and the teleport charm in the other. She hated not being able to just port herself with her own magic. Holding the charm restricted her attacks. It still took getting used to. After 136 years she was used to her magic and sometimes found herself trying to do things.

The noise came again. It was different. She quickly found a weapon and the charm turning to face the window. She was certain there was someone standing in the shadows of the back yard near to where the forest started. She moved to the bay doors and unlocked them. The figure remained where it was. It didn’t disappear as she unlocked and opened the door. She stepped outside the figure stepped forward into the circle of light from the house.

“Word reached me that you were no longer at the bidding of the Council, I came for you Jaidee. I did not expect to find you pregnant and alone. I have come for you Jaidee, I wish you to be mine once more.”

Jai barely heard the words. She was staring into his eyes, those familiar eyes as the dagger fell from her hand and legs gave out beneath her. “Kelsen?” His name passed her lips as her eyes fluttered shut and she fainted. Kelsen was at her side as quick as only he could be, a seasoned mixture of vampire speed and Fae porting. He caught her in his arms and lowered her gently to the ground looking down at her worried. He wasn’t sure if it was just surprise or displeasure at seeing him again. But he had come for her. She was to be his. He did not even mind that she was pregnant. He could not give her children in his undead life and he knew she had wanted them eventually. This worked well, now she could have the twins and he could have her, a family with the only woman he had ever come close to loving before he was turned. The only woman he had realised in the year since that he wished to have at his side.

“Wake up Jaidee.” He leant down and gently kissed her lips smiling at the Sleeping Beauty parallel and how that would please his Jaidee.

 

Kelsen Part 2 – Flashback to Farewell

 

 

 

Jai sat on the window seat, her legs bent up cradled into her chest. Her eyes were fixed on the stars but she didn’t see them. Her mind was elsewhere. Back at the old house, the one she had lived in during her time as Ambassador. She was not in the here and now. She was back, maybe a year ago. The last night she had seen Kelsen, the night he had left her to try and save her life.

 

 

Lothair grabbed Jai’s wrist as she turned to walk away from him, yanking her back around to face him. “They know he is here Jaidee. It is your life if they find him. It was enough that he was banished and you aided him, we could overlook that but now…now he is an abomination and we cannot suffer him to live. You must end him Jaidee. It is the only way you can live now.”

“No…no…” Jai stumbled back, tears streaming down her face. How could he ask her to do this? She couldn’t kill, not again. And not him. Not Kelsen. She looked up into Lothair’s eyes and broke his heart. “Please don’t make me do this.”

“Do you love him?”

“No…yes…I don’t know…we just…I can’t kill him Lothair. I’ve lost everyone, Bryn, mother, father and now Tienai. I can’t lose him to. I can’t have his blood on my hands and his death in my heart.”

“You have until midnight Jaidee. I can hold them off no longer. You are blood bound to be here at midnight. If any trace of him is found you will be executed and I cannot prevent it. I cannot save you this time my dear girl.” He touched her cheek softly and she saw how it killed him to say the words. He knew her well enough to know she couldn’t do what he asked her and he vanished away from her before she saw his tears.

Jai dropped to the ground burying her head in her arms. She couldn’t do it, she couldn’t kill Kelsen but if she didn’t it would be her own life that would be ended. She didn’t know how to make it so they wouldn’t know he was here. He had and they would know. She was fucked plain and simple. She had known the risk when she had told him to stay but then, that was before he was turned. Now he was not simply banished he was hunted. A Fae turned vampire was a threat. He could move between the realms and if he so wished as part of a nest he could take his nest mates and try to massacre the realm in their hunger.

They didn’t know he wouldn’t do that like Jai did. He was taken with her blood but not intoxicated by it like all other vampires Jai had known. He wouldn’t take others and kill innocents. Yes he was a killer, an assassin but he would not kill innocents.

“I should never have stayed. I never wanted you in danger.” Kelsen moved across the room taking her into his cold arms. “I can’t let them kill you. Come with me, come away with me.”

“I can’t” Jai sobbed her tears falling onto his arms as he held her back against his chest.

“You can. We can find a place and be happy. I might have changed but I know I make you happy.” He ran his fangs down her throat and she whimpered through her tears.  “I can protect you, look after you.”

“Feed on me.” Jai shot back choking on a sob.

“You think that’s it? That I just want you for your blood and your body?”

“That is all you want.” Jai hissed. Somehow it was easier to go to anger right now. “It’s all you’ve ever wanted me for. A fuck when you had no other.”

“It’s all you ever wanted me for. I wasn’t Bryn, the perfect man you were married to for five fucking minutes. I was never good enough for you, I couldn’t give you what you needed.”

“You never wanted to be good enough. You never wanted to choose me, make me yours, it was always just when you wanted. I was yours for a time and then you cast me aside like I didn’t matter until your need grew and you wanted me again…and now you want me against because I am your favourite meal.”

“So fucking sure of yourself.” Kelsen growled as Jai rolled out of his arms and his voice rose to match hers. “After all this time you think I just want to fuck you? I want to save you, take you away, have you with me, with or without your fucking blood.”

Jai sagged down squeezing her eyes shut. “I can’t go, I’m blood bound to stay.”

“You can disobey it, I did.” He knelt again and tilted her head to look at him.

“They will hunt us down.” She dropped her eyes. “Lothair can find me.”

“What? How?”

“After Damiel…I let him, he was worried he would lose me too…”

“You let yourself be marked?” Kelsen was shocked. It was a painful thing to be marked by another Fae. Few ever did it. He couldn’t understand how Jai could let herself be marked.

“I was weak after Damiel. It seemed right at the time.” Kelsen growled that Lothair had taken advantage of her in that state to impose more of his will on her.

“We can find a way. We can break it and be together.” Blood tears were forming in his eyes now. Even he knew what he was saying was foolish. They would be found long before they could break it and they needed Lothair for that anyway. They had only five hours remaining until the dead line. “I can’t leave you to death.”

“You have to.” Jai whispered.

“Kill me.” Kelsen took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. “If it is between us I can’t go on knowing you have been killed for me.”

“Kelsen…” Jai breathed out his name tears spilling down her cheeks again. “I can’t do it.”

“I’ll do it then.” He ported a stake into his hand. Jai quickly closed her own hand around the point.

“Don’t…” She closed her eyes pressing her lips together. “Please for me. Don’t ever do that. You have to go. I will find a way to get through this. You can’t die, please.” She looked into his eyes then, teary eyes pleading for him to agree to this for her, for everything she meant to him. She couldn’t kill him, she didn’t want to go on with him dead. She didn’t want to lose him, maybe someday they could be together again but if he was dead he was gone from her forever and she couldn’t live with that. She let him draw her in to his lips and they kissed. It was a slow, deep kiss. She knew he was going to do it for her, that he would go and not look back for her. This was their goodbye. He picked her up and carried her to the bedroom and they made a slow and tear filled goodbye in whispered words and with an intimacy they had never shared before as they made love.

Jai stood in the window, the sheets wrapped around her like an ancient priestess. She waited her destiny with a calm acceptance. She didn’t look at Kelsen again. She couldn’t. She knew she would break down the moment she looked in his eyes.  She couldn’t say goodbye to him. Her heart was breaking in a way it hadn’t since Bryn. She closed her eyes when he came to her. He tilted her head up to him and kissed her lips softly.

“I will come for you Jaidee, I swear it to you.”